Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
