he wants to bone in the snuggie
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
