I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
