Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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