Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
