I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
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