I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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