Sorry, I don't speak sober.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
