Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
too bad you live with your parents still
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
