I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
You're earring is so big in my mouth
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize