was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
