It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
