problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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