are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
