saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
