imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Such a big mess for such a small penis
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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