I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
