You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
It's rum buckets o'clock
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
