This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
