drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
