Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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