i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
it glows. i had to have it.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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