Kiss
Puke
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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