You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
