Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
