you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
