Don't you send me to vm
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Randomize
