the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
wat bout pragnant strippers??
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Randomize