remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
