Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I love you.
Bad choice
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
