Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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