At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
