I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
