is your mom at the bar?
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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