she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
