i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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