Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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