Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
