remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
