Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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