Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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