If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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