I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
