We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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