do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
