i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
