I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I looked at my own cervix.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
