I look better un-naked...
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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