Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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