it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
