After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
