o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
