if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
