By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
You were trust falling into bushes
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
