You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
