My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
