Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
