It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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