He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize