my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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