i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
