Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
