It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
