you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
