toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
How many fucks given?
0.12846
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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