she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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