Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
